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Jaywalker free magazine of the arts was published monthly in Kingston, Ontario, Canada and is still available online at all times right here! We hope to get some version of it going again. For now, it is an archival site only.


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Your September Hors D' Scope

  The Mysterious All-Seeing Big Brown Eye of Sarcastio

By: The Mysterious, All-Seeing Big Brown Eye of Sarcastio

(Your Horoscopic Punnisher and All-Around 

Mean-Spirited Oracle)


Abies: You are a genus! So spruce up and take a stand because you're in fir wild times. Just be sure not to reveal your silver roots.

Your lucky number for September is 18032.

Tauntress: September brings out your worst, you mean, mean, mean person.

Gemim: You think you know so much! But there's something fishy about all this - a whale of a tale to be told in record depths.

Chancer: You'll feel crappy, have the spins and be dealt a mean deal. Face up to it - good fortune is not in your cards.

Liber: Your bark is worse than your bite, but you have the strength to carry on. You may feel bagged in September, but your primo threats are those who will treat you like a dope.

Virga: Your crocodile teardrops will not go far in September, so dry up and make like the sun is shining. Keep it light, and try not to rain on everyone's parade.

Le: Your inflammatory ways cause many great pains. Take a pill, chill out and try not to buck the system.

Scorper: You are a tool. Keep within the lines and take only what you need, or others will leave you in grave harm. If you clean up the plate, you’ll be out of a job; if you don’t clean up the plate, you’ll also be out of a job.

Sagga-tarious: You think that you're so high and mighty. Well Heaven knows that what goes around comes around, and when you come back around, you'll be like yesterday’s breakfast.

Capa-corn: You will become dislodged, but dam well prepared in September. Keep your spirit together, and remain sweet, while you reap what you have sewn. No sense cutting others down - stay the course until you are long in the tooth.

Aquaregia: Your royally caustic behavior will dissolve even the strongest bonds. Don't let this spoil your appetite for more, though. Yet while you appear fuming on the outside, you're truly yellow on the inside.

Pycnos: As dense as you might be, you deserve some attention at times for this very quality. Don't get too excited though, there are possibly others even thicker than you.


July 2003        August 2003

  September 2003       October 2003       November 2003

The Worst of Hors D'Scopes 2003

    January 2004       February  2004       

March 2004       April 2004

May/June 2004



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