the Big Brown Eye of Sarcastio
[Note!]: You'll probably be busy, but not very popular. Find
some honey to pollinate and kick back for the weekend.
Taurist: You will meet a stranger on a bus, and they will
take you to a place you've never seen. Be sure to wash your hands frequently.
Gremlini: July offers you plenty of troublemaking, but it's
all in good fun. Stay away from water and be sure to stay clear of little old
Canker: Stop being a sorehead and toughen up. This month
will be no better than the last, but be sure to share your little problem with
everyone you meet.
Hippocampus: Don't be so emotional. Just because everything
looks grey and you're feeling confined, don't let the stress give you a
stroke. Take it easy, and remember...
Libido: Hang on. In the coming month your drive is sure to
turn up. And no sense hiding it from anyone - no one cares.
Viagro: Good for you! You're finally up and coming after a
long time with your head down. But be warned, things can peter out just as
quickly as they came.
Lira: There is a small amount of money with your name on
it. No sense sharing it though, because you're just so greedy.
Serpico: You will detect much sinister activity in your
workplace. Just ignore it.
Sagisaurus: You may as well go back to bed and fossilize.
There's not much to see or do in your life for this, or any month soon.
Carpaccio: You will feel a bit raw in the first weeks, but
this will be replaced by gaminess as the dog days set it. If you're lucky,
you'll find yourself at a restaurant, in the company of others.
Aquaman: Your left hand doesn't know what your right hand is
doing - but we do. Stop doing that right now, Jeremy!
Fishies: Beware of men with big rods and tall stories.
They'll have something that'll get to you hook, line and sinker.