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Your Flashback Hors D' Scope

  The Mysterious All-Seeing Big Brown Eye of Sarcastio

By: The Mysterious, All-Seeing Big Brown Eye of Sarcastio

(Your Horoscopic Punnisher and All-Around 

Mean-Spirited Oracle)


Originally published in June of last year, this very first edition of 

the Hors D'Scopes originally mistakenly enters the word 

"aviaries" instead of "apiaries". Ooops! Our bad!


Apiaries: You'll probably be busy, but not very popular. Find some honey to pollinate and kick back for the weekend.


Taurist: You will meet a stranger on a bus, and they will take you to a place you've never seen. Be sure to wash your hands frequently.


Gremlini: July offers you plenty of troublemaking, but it's all in good fun. Stay away from water and be sure to stay clear of little old salesmen.


Canker: Stop being a sorehead and toughen up. This month will be no better than the last, but be sure to share your little problem with everyone you meet.


Hippocampus: Don't be so emotional. Just because everything looks grey and you're feeling confined, don't let the stress give you a stroke. Take it easy, and remember...


Libido: Hang on. In the coming month your drive is sure to turn up. And no sense hiding it from anyone - no one cares.


Viagro: Good for you! You're finally up and coming after a long time with your head down. But

be warned, things can peter out just as quickly as they came.


Lira: There is a small amount of money with your name on it. No sense sharing it though, because you're just so greedy.


Serpico: You will detect much sinister activity in your workplace. Just ignore it.


Sagisaurus: You may as well go back to bed and fossilize. There's not much to see or do in your life for this, or any month soon.


Carpaccio: You will feel a bit raw in the first weeks, but this will be replaced by gaminess as the dog days set in. If you're lucky, you'll find yourself at a restaurant, in the company of others.


Aquaman: Your left hand doesn't know what your right hand is doing - but we do. Stop doing that right now, Jeremy!


Fishies: Beware of men with big rods and tall stories. They'll have something that'll get to you hook, line and sinker.



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