Quote of the Day!

Welcome to


arts magazine.

You'll be virtually a-mused, Kingston!!

ISSN 1708-5845 Online     Magazine  Art In Kingston   About Kingston   Press Releases   HELP!!     ISSN 1708-5837 Print

About Us

Adversity & the Artist


Artist Links

But Is It Art...?

But Is It Music...?

Collectible Bookmarks

Current Issue




Front & Centre

Heart Shaped Box

Hors D'Scopes

Inspiring Places

Jam Makers


Past Issues

Picture of the Day

Save A Jaywalker!

Short Stories

Wordsmith's Intersection


Baby Squirrel Videos

Wild Kitten Movies





Jaywalker free magazine of the arts was published monthly in Kingston, Ontario, Canada and is still available online at all times right here! We hope to get some version of it going again. For now, it is an archival site only.


Check out our old publisher's new blog, The Metaphor Observatory, with plenty of examples of contemporary metaphor in the media.


Bookmark us today!



Your January 2004 Hors D' Scope

  The Mysterious All-Seeing Big Brown Eye of Sarcastio

By: The Mysterious, All-Seeing Big Brown Eye of Sarcastio

(Your Horoscopic Punnisher and All-Around 

Mean-Spirited Oracle)

(Note: The 24th letter has been replaced according to the new rules for the English language. Please see page 4 for further information. P.S.: You may have noticed a typo in "Apiaries" last month. Good for you!)


Aviaries: You run afoul of the law, and your guilt cages you in, despite your efforts to take flight. You eventually find full-time occupation at a co-op, but the pay is chicken-feed and you're ne(ks)t in line for the chopping block.

Tarsus: You misstep and feel like a heel. But don't get out of joint. You'll be on your feet and walking all over everyone again in no time.

Gemelli: How can one as stiff as you become so twisted?! Rela(ks), take a steamy hot bath and get sauced. Don't dwell on the pasta.

Candler: You've seen the light, and now you think it's all over - easy, eh? But your thick shell has allowed you to lose sight of what's growing fowl inside.

Labra:  Keep a stiff upper lip. Now push your lower lip way forward. This should make a nice little platform for you to garner pity from.

Virgouleuse:  Apparently, your efforts at good taste are fruitless. Hang on, and take consolation in knowing that as you age, at least the flies will be attracted to you.

Lego: The new year greets our poor blockhead with this simple colourful piece: you don't fit in. Sure, people will build you up, but they're just toying with you, and will soon tear you apart again.

Scorchio: You carry a torch for an old flame, and try to rekindle the romance. For a while you spark their interest, but in the end you get burned.

Sagitta: On the surface, you're a boring, spineless worm - but don't let this news leave you at sea. Plunge head first into a new life!

Capriform:  By the end of January, you'll've heard that you look like a kid, but after ruminating on this comment awhile, you'll find someone has gotten your goat.

Actuarius: Your calculated risks leave you e(ks)posed to more perils. After a short term, you have a theft at your home, leaving you broker; so you must fire your agent, Otto.

Pierces: Your studly, holier-than-thou attitude has you taking jabs at those around you. You eventually get under their skin, and as a result, rejected. Ring true?  


July 2003        August 2003

  September 2003       October 2003       November 2003

The Worst of Hors D'Scopes 2003

    January 2004       February  2004       

March 2004       April 2004

May/June 2004



About the Hors D'Scopes



Back to January 2004 Jaywalker


Jaywalker Magazine Main


Free Movies!

Free Music!

Free Podcasts!


  Copyright Info   Contact   Privacy Policy   Link to Jaywalker   Bookmark Us!   Advertising   Comments