run afoul of the law, and your guilt cages you in, despite your efforts to
take flight. You eventually find full-time occupation at a co-op, but the pay
is chicken-feed and you're ne(ks)t in line for the chopping block.
You misstep and feel like a heel. But don't
get out of joint. You'll be on your feet and walking all over everyone again
in no time.
Gemelli: How can one as stiff as you become so twisted?! Rela(ks), take a steamy
hot bath and get sauced. Don't dwell on the pasta.
Candler: You've seen the light, and now you think it's all
over - easy, eh? But your thick shell has allowed you to lose sight of what's
growing fowl inside.
Keep a stiff upper lip. Now push
your lower lip way forward. This should make a nice little platform for
you to garner pity from.
your efforts at good taste are fruitless. Hang on, and take consolation in knowing that as you age, at least the flies will be
attracted to you.
The new year greets our poor blockhead with this simple colourful piece: you
don't fit in. Sure, people will build you up, but they're just toying with
you, and will soon tear you apart again.
You carry a torch for an old flame, and try to rekindle the romance. For a
while you spark their interest, but in the end you get burned.
On the surface, you're a boring, spineless
worm - but don't let this news leave you at sea. Plunge head first into a new
By the end of January, you'll've heard that you look like a kid, but
after ruminating on this comment awhile, you'll find someone has gotten your
Your calculated risks leave you e(ks)posed
to more perils. After a short term, you have a theft at your home, leaving you
broker; so you must fire your agent, Otto.
studly, holier-than-thou attitude has you taking jabs at those around you. You
eventually get under their skin, and as a result, rejected. Ring true?
Worst of Hors D'Scopes 2003
the Hors D'Scopes
to January 2004 Jaywalker