Arteries:
You
feel downright pumped, but you're
only
being built up and will not be able to handle
the
pressure. Nonetheless, you receive a plaque,
hang
it on your wall then pay to have it removed.
Petaurus:
You glide into a new neck of the
woods
only to find everyone lying down under
their
canopies. But they're not asleep - they're
just
playing possum with you until you find
somewhere
else to hang out...
Bigeminy: Shall I compare thee to a summer's
day? No. Shall I compare thee to a two-timer?
Yup. So beat it, double time.
Canceleer: You
cast the bate, but just when
you're
about to land your perch, things take a
turn
for the worse. To correct this, you quickly
turn
away, fall mute, and prey no one will
notice.
How could you stoop so low?
Libral:
February pounds on poor Libral.
But
don't
let this weigh you down. Just
because
life's
great scale isn't tipped in your favor,
doesn't
mean you don't measure up - it just
means
you are antiquated.
Vergee:
You find yourself feeling small,
isolated
and outdated. Parish the thought!
In
realty, you're quite a parcel - wrapped
up
in yourself, that is!
Cleo: You
meet the mark in romance
but
after falling all over you, he falls all
over
his sword. I guess it's better that
he
loved and lost than get stuck with
you
- you'd just end up a bit of an asp.
Corpsio: February
will be a dead month
for
you. You'll be late for everything and
feel
like a zombie - coughin' night and
day.
Get plenty of peaceful rest and limit
your
undertakings. Stay away from the light.
Saggy-tarius: Like Corpsio, you will feel
bagged during February. But the bags will
be under your eyes, arms and ankles rather
than around you. Get some exercise you lazy bum!
DiCaprio-corn: Your
love life sinks, and you try
to
stay afloat by hitting the shores. But the
beach-boy's
life is an unfit environment for castaways,
so
our poor Romeo has yet another titanic failure.
Daiquirius:
Sugar, you're intoxicating. But
this is no compliment.
You might think you're
getting
people
juiced up, yet actually they're
being driven bananas, and your
tipsy world's
about
to come crumbling down. Why don't
you
put
yourself on ice for a while...?
Piscaries: You
get a gut feeling that there is
some fishy business going on about you. You
split, get half cut, and move to another block.
