Writer's block has gagged even the most loquacious of wordsmiths. It has stolen the words from the tips of our tongues and robbed us of inspiration. But before we judge it too harshly, maybe some find writer's block appealing...
Blocked! (...and loving it!!)
Submitted by Joe Grand
I should like to say a few words in
praise of writer's block. This much-maligned
condition is responsible for some of the greatest insights of mankind. I
just can't imagine the quality of thoughts that have raced or perhaps tip
toed across the minds of writers when facing the blank page and a deadline. Last
night, for example, no matter how many different angles I tried, I just couldn't
make a go of it. I felt myself begin to wander.
You find yourself arm deep in
the end of the couch searching for lost change or engaged in an intellectual
debate concerning whether, if the moon is in the first quarter, would it be
lit up on your left or right side?
The mind is a wonderful tool. "Ah!",
you say to Madam Curie, who has suddenly appeared in a white researcher's gown
with a vial of radium in her pocket, "I suspect the tantalizing
ingredient you have so rightly discerned
missing from the recipe isn't Dijon after all; but is
instead...", you pause for dramatic effect; adjusting
your monocle (you are allowed to have a monocle when experiencing writer's
block). Out from the French cuff of your sleeve a small brown bottle falls
into your hand. You turn the
The audience sitting just
outside of the bright light of the stage lets out a gasp. You turn to them
and begin a long and formal bow. Your cat looks sideways at you.
Coming back to your senses so
rudely, you begin to think blackly about cats in general and their
lack of understanding about writer's block.
Even a brief moment of illumination -
when the idea of buying a typewriter with the sole purpose of making the
cat sleep in the box - cannot lift your spirits as you, unaware of
your movements, find you're in the kitchen adding Buckley's to this tomato
and onion sandwich which has slipped so convincingly into your head. Anything
Don't worry. It's just writer's
block. I am supposed to be writing an article on Shaker furniture and here
I am thinking that before I start I had better go off to the grocery store to
see if I can't find a potato that resembles the head of King Charles the First
If I could only find that
I know I could write...