Writer's block has gagged even the most loquacious of wordsmiths. It has stolen the words from the tips of our tongues and robbed us of inspiration. But before we judge it too harshly, maybe some find writer's block appealing...

Blocked! (...and loving it!!)

Submitted by Joe Grand

I should like to say a few words in praise of writer's block. This much-maligned condition is responsible for some of the greatest insights of mankind. I just can't imagine the quality of thoughts that have raced or perhaps tip toed across the minds of writers when facing the blank page and a deadline. Last night, for example, no matter how many different angles I tried, I just couldn't make a go of it. I felt myself begin to wander.

You find yourself arm deep in the end of the couch searching for lost change or engaged in an intellectual debate concerning whether, if the moon is in the first quarter, would it be lit up on your left or right side? 

The mind is a wonderful tool. "Ah!", you say to Madam Curie, who has suddenly appeared in a white researcher's gown with a vial of radium in her pocket, "I suspect the tantalizing ingredient you have so rightly discerned missing from the recipe isn't Dijon after all; but is instead...", you  pause for dramatic effect; adjusting your monocle (you are allowed to have a monocle when experiencing writer's block).  Out from the French cuff of your sleeve a small brown bottle falls into your hand.   You turn the label in her direction as elegantly as if you were shuffling a deck of cards in one hand  "...Buckley's cough syrup!"

The audience sitting just outside of the bright light of the stage lets out a gasp. You turn to them and begin a long and formal bow. Your cat looks sideways at you. 

Coming back to your senses so rudely, you begin to think blackly about cats in general and their lack of understanding about writer's block.

Even a brief moment of illumination - when the idea of buying a typewriter with the sole purpose of making the cat sleep in the box - cannot lift your spirits as you, unaware of your movements, find you're in the kitchen adding Buckley's to this tomato and onion sandwich which has slipped so convincingly into your head. Anything but write!

Don't worry. It's just writer's block. I am supposed to be writing an article on Shaker furniture and here I am thinking that before I start I had better go off to the grocery store to see if I can't find a potato that resembles the head of King Charles the First of England.

If I could only find that potato,

I know I could write...

                                   Joe Grand

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